Lagos is a very crazy city. There, everyone is in haste like the blades of a rolling fan. There, Mondays are more sacred than Fridays and Sundays, for traders would never entertain nonsense on Monday mornings. There, a saint becomes a devil when he holds the steering wheel of any godforsaken vehicle. Lagos is a city for smart people; it is the only city in the world where a person pays for a smart phone and gets a wrap of fufu instead.
Lagos is full of unusualness too. You cannot urinate anywhere. You cannot park anywhere. You cannot even cross the highway in places where there are no pedestrian bridges. And let me add that everything is stealable in Lagos. There is a popular story of a stupid fat woman who slept off in a ‘Molue’ but woke up to find that her breasts had been stolen and replaced with two large water melons. As a matter of fact, I now write to tell the story of how a young man’s prick was stolen and found miraculously.
Yesterday, I was in Agege to buy about ten litres of petrol to fill my “I pass my neighbour” generator. Recently, nearly every citizens of my country have had a glimpse of hell – no fuel; no light; no water and jobs. Those who voted for change now seemed to live in chains. It was under these circumstances that I left my house at about 3.00am to queue for fuel in a nearby Mobil filling station where petrol was still sold at reasonable prices.
The reader would think that it was stark dark and Lagos people should be in bed but it was not so. Vehicles running into about fifty had formed a long queue already. ‘Okada’ riders numbering well over seventy had also formed a separate queue together with those who came with the tanks of their generators. And then, there were those who came with sleeping mats. Crazy city; crazy citizens; crazy government, I thought.
At once, I joined the queue of those who came with their own tanks and waited quietly. Policemen were very much present too to protect, or perhaps, extort us. Our confidence level remained intact, although there was no single pump attendant in sight. We believed strongly that Mobil would save us, not the government. READ MORE