WASHINGTON—Fearing the information had already fallen into the wrong hands, the FBI was panicking Tuesday after learning encrypted national security communications may have been intercepted by the Trump administration.
“We are incredibly troubled to have learned that transmissions vital to homeland security could have been captured and encrypted by President Trump’s staff,” said FBI director James Comey, who said agency servers were rapidly being destroyed as a precaution while an urgent investigation was conducted.
“If it turns out that Trump officials have indeed acquired these correspondences, it could mean the entire United States security architecture is compromised.
We want to assure the American people, however, that we are doing absolutely everything in our power to determine what, if anything, has been obtained by these volatile and dangerous individuals.” At press time, the FBI’s worst fears had not yet been realized, as the Trump administration did not appear to be acting on any information from national security agencies whatsoever.
SOURCE: News Now / The Onion Online